Love is not for weaker hearts
Even I think sometimes why I am doing this and I am like this. But I have tried so much and I can’t stop thinking of her. When I think of it, it’s because of the love I had for her.
I never though, I will be this much hurt, in my life at any point. One thing I learned from this is Love is not for weaker hearts. I always thought I can cope with anything emotionally. I thought I am a tough guy. But painfully I found out that I am the weakest of all. Sometimes when I think of her and the thought of my future without her and my family tears come rolling down the cheeks. I can’t even control it.
I fell in love at the age of 28 and it is not just a school boy crush or college infatuation. And when the person you love the most vanishes from your life. It hurts. And it breaks your heart forever. Heart is like a piece of glass and once broken it will never be the same thing again.
I have read about that life goes on; time is a great healer; blah blah. This is bullshit. If you are in real love and if you don’t get that person life will not be the same again. Life goes on. Yes I know. But the pain does not go away. It’s been almost 8 months since I lost her. So don’t give that bullshit about the time will make me happy.
I am not going to try and kill myself again. That’s because I don’t have the courage for that. And I want to live and prove my parents wrong.
She can tell me to get married but it’s not that easy. For others it’s just a love. But for me from the day I told her I love her she is my wife. In my heart. And I felt I was married. So I don’t want to get married again.
Because in everything I do, I see her and remember her. And If I get married again, it is not fair on the girl I am marrying to. My Suryan might hate me now for not getting married. As she wants me to be happy. But it’s not that easy.
My heart and my feelings and my Love are not a electronic item where you can pull the plug and switch off.
So she might hate me now. But one day she will understand why I could marry anyone. Because if I had got married to someone, she would have done the same. Now she won’t understand because she loved me so much and now she hates to see me getting hurt.
But it’s too late.
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3 comments:
relax dude .. chillll ..
i kwn its hard ... real tough to get over tht love feeling .. m sort of gettin in to it .. nd evry fight make u weak .. to surrender .. nd d day u surrender u grow more nd more binded by d relation .. by d person .. nd evrything seems right thn .. nd nothing else can please her thn her sight .. her touch .. her love ..
but dont do this .. this way ur kind of killing ur love .. she's not there but live her love .. it will alwyz be there in your heart .. nd u wud mesmerise forever .. but how long . ..
life is a long journey .. nd if u want to hold her memories all ur life .. nd love her d way u love her now .. just go on .. take few steps towards living normal .. nd thn whn at moments her memories wud occur to u .. dnt cry ... rather smile at d time tht u two spent together ..
nd i guess ur to be wife wud understnd ur condition .. nd may be she might try to fill tht empty space .. nd u will find love again .. nd love does happen again .. be it d same gal .. who breaks ur heart nd u feel like hating her .. bt thn u realise tht its all a part of d sweet bitter realtionship ..
similarly, there's some much love in this world .. dont deny it .. keep ur love alive .. nd let other love enter ur life .. be positive .. nd suryan wud love it i guess .. she wud be happier seeing u happy ..
u just relax .. dont be quick .. jst take ur time .. but dnt outright reject having a life of your own .. just take ur time .. nd LIVE for urself .. for her :)
tc.
anuj.
what happened with her? Can I ask?
**So don’t give that bullshit about the time will make me happy.
yeah I know wut u mean. PPL tell me that often and Im like NO IT WONT HEAL THAT EASILY. It's easier said than done.
Anyways...I hope u find someone u can place all ur love again on. I really hope u do.
Keshi.
I wanted to write something but after reading the comments, I think, much have been said and you should understand.
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